The illusion of failure

Failure is an illusion

     Failure is fake.  There is no such thing.  The word that strikes fear and self oppression in to the easily startled is not even real.  You cannot fail.  You can attain less than your goal suggested but you cannot fail.  No matter what!!!  I promise you!   “What the hell are you talking about, Wa-Dē?

     To do is to become in some form or another.  Perhaps we fall short but we still advanced from our starting point.  Can you see what I am talking about?  To not start at all is not failure because failure must have a starting position in which to fail from… YET … If you start and don’t reach a wanted goal, you have still moved forward and therefore have not failed either.  FAILURE IS A HOAX, a word for the weak, an excuse for the timid.  FAILURE is nothing more than a safety word for those who need a explanation. “Okay, What’s the point here?!?!?!”


     GO!!! DO!!! Failure is nothing.  It’s very VERY OKAY to not reach a goal just as long as you launched towards it from a starting point, for even the painful feeling of defeat is not FAILURE.  Answer me this… You make an attempt at something and are defeated… If you attempted the same again would you be as easily defeated??? ABSOLUTELY NOT!  Why then??? Because despite your loss, you have learned and gained in that defeat.

     YOU HAVE SEEN FURTHER AROUND THE CORNER.  You can foretell a bit more of the process than you could the first time through and for that you have increased in wealth.  You did not fail, you have only gained.  Rocky said it best, “It’s not about how hard you can hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward.  THAT’S HOW WINNING IS DONE!”

     So do you see it now, that “failure” is that of the fog.  The inner struggle to measure your motivation in attempt for something.  It’s a word that you can choose to abide by or not.  You can choose to disregard its’ malignant contempt and decide for yourself to gain.

     Initialize a starting point and move forward.  Embrace defeat.  We learn more from it than we do reward.  Keep your eyes peeled for what’s around the corner so that when you attempt to achieve greatness again, you know what lies around that same corner and you can be more prepared to make it even further and further and further AND FURTHER!




Societal Grains


     Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades… If all goes as planned, we will have a lot of time on this planet before we become fertilizer.  Our time on this planet is spent experiencing and integrating with that which is all around us.  I live my life in a fashion that allows me the freedom of embracing experiences as they come and in high frequency at that.  In my life I have encountered and interacted with herbivores a few times and have always enjoyed the comestibles of their lifestyle.  As a lifelong meat-eater, I have decided to experiment with this alternate eating lifestyle.  I have been living for a week now without meat, eggs, cheese and dressings.  I have maintained a 3-meal day on only veggies, fruits, nuts, and breads.  You’re reading this so that means I haven’t fell down dead from it either.


     It hasn’t been completely easy but it hasn’t been impossible either.  There have been a time or 2 when my mind has thought “Dude, where the heck did the cheeseburgers go?”, but I have been able to keep it in check.  What I’ve noticed though is that in the beginning of this change, I was eating an enormous amount of food.  My plate would have an enormous salad on it and I would have no problem with chowing down to the bottom of it and pondering a second helping.  As this week has progressed, those serving sizes have progressively fallen naturally and I have inadvertently and accidentally solved an issue that I have been unable to resolve for as long I can remember and that is OVEREATING.  


     As the food continues to stay healthy and my portion size begins to lower, I have also found 30 minutes to 1 hour a day for physical activity.  From CrossFit beat-downs to past the point of just nausea (if you know where I am going with that), to strength training and cardio treadmill treks into no where, I have began to feel that life vitality I once had when I was doing CrossFit and eating perfect back in the day. 


     There truly is value to breaking through our mental and physical barriers on a path to betterment.  This reminds me a lot of that fog I spoke of in my last posting titled, Your Mountain.  As we explore and penetrate our internal limits, we find ourselves in a struggle to experience whatever is passed the fog.  It’s an eerie and thrilling sensation and I am curious to find out if it is in fact an addicting sensation.  What I am finding is that my willpower is increasing with each successful climb through the fog.  What many may call hard-headed is actually willpower.  

Posted @

     Recently, I encountered a situation where someone thought of me and hooked me up with a Subway sub when he thought I might not be able to make it to lunch due to current circumstances.  I was in a perplexing situation because the sub looked delicious.  It was a steak and cheese sub and smelled especially well when it was presented to me.  It took nerve, willpower, and some strength to graciously thank my friend but also to apologize for I had to decline his grateful gesture.  I explained that I am currently battling some internal conflicts that have grown within me and the food I eat.  Luckily, that’s as far as it had to go but when I did head towards the dining hall, I realized how much of an important moment that was.  I pushed away something I never would have in the past while, also not letting excuses like “it would be rude to say no to this gift” allow me to tell myself that it’s okay to break protocol just this 1 time.

     Breaking our mental limits makes us stronger and stronger the more limits we break and we really begin to realize just how much control we wield in this 1 lifetime we hold.  You can honestly do anything you want in life and you can say no even when cultural standards would force you to say yes.  It’s okay to go against the grain of societal norms when it’s your happiness that is on the line.  It’s not greed, hard-headedness, or derogatory in any way, despite what another may say to you.  Your happiness is more important than the situation ever is.  I believe I am going to continue on with this experiment and see how I feel about it as time progresses but so far, I AM HAPPY.

Have a fantastic day!


Your Mountain

10409348_1514830135405614_3588031057745651421_n       Inch by inch we claw our way to a place where we didn’t think we could get to before we began to start the journey. For what looks so daunting and impossible from afar, slowly begins to become a reality. You will not believe you can accomplish something large until you begin to work for it. The why’s and what’s and what if’s fog the image of success before you ever begin to strive towards it. You are bogged.


As your eyes peer slowly up the mountain that lies before you, you see that you could simply never begin and think about how easy it would be to choose to stay here. This is reality and you are not alone at the bottom of that hole. You are actually surrounded, engulfed, constricted, and being strangled by those who continue to wallow in doubt, despair, excuse, and drug-induced faux realities. But while you stand at the bottom of that hole and look up, you will see a small hazy glimmer of light that fights through the fog. There’s a choice awaiting you and no matter what, you will make a decision. YOU CAN CHOOSE TO STOP or YOU CAN CHOOSE WORK TOWARDS IT.



     When you begin to work for it, you feel excited but quickly after that excitement fades, you will find yourself alone in your mission. As you climb this mountain before you, you feel the bottom dwellers reaching out towards you and begging you to return for they’re scared of loneliness at the bottom, as much as you are now scared of the loneliness as you attempt to climb. You make it up a decent portion despite your fears and their yells of discontent. You hit a jutting out ceiling; an impossible ledge to reach out to. You stop and feel the weight of your current work that has not been acknowledged yet. You look down and can hear the shouts of the familiar pack calling for you to return. You can smell the familiar stench as it begins to surround you. YOU LOOK UP; an impossible wall without a clear view of what is on the other side. YOU HAVE ENCOUNTERED ANOTHER INEVITABLE CHOICE. Is your motivation too weak to close out uncertainty? Is your loneliness to strong and begging for the attention of the familiar? You are at a precipice where many have stood. This is where a dream truly begins to take form.



     You stop looking down and lock your eyes on the wall. The realization that you do not have a choice any longer begins to consume your every cell. THERE IS NO CHOICE. You can only keep going up. YOU LEAP! Your now fragile and brittle fingertips gain traction on the wall’s lip and you feel LIFE for the very first time and it feels curiously sweet. BUT ONLY FOR A SECOND… You begin to lose traction and you feel fear. You feel that you have made a mistake… YOU QUICKLY MAKE A CHOICE… “NO!”, you shout. You are not sure what happens as your brain flashes an instant of pure cognitive bliss and you harness unknown muscle strength to pull your body to your failing hands. The traction seems to hold even though you feel it to be impossible. You swing a foot over and gain a lock. You have hit a hidden perfection. You look downward and hear nothing any longer. The pack below stares quietly at you. Their hands are lowered and their gaze is longing as if they have seen something impossible. You have made it. They stare into the impossible as you once did before you left. They stare up as you turn your head around and complete your vault over into the unknown. YOU STAND and look at your footing on a floor you have never seen before. There’s disbelief and fear mixed with rewarding somber and wonderment. Slowly your eyes climb up the continuous rock before you. The climb is not done. But this time, something has changed in you. You begin to see all the little steps it will take to obtain your goal and you realize that the goal was not daunting or impossible at all. You feel the presence of person and you look up to see an arm stretched out.


     You have never seen this person before. A person that has faded from existence below. A man only known by legend and by want. A man no person on the bottom of the hole believes came from the hole. A man that seems to have been born above the hole. THIS IS WRONG. This is a man who has felt everything you felt before the climb and everything you have felt after your climb. The man is smiling and reaches out for you. You smile back and reach out and feel the embrace of continuous positivity. You climb to his level and he nods for you to press on. He eggs you on with a glance. You both know that there is no choice anymore. The path is before you and you both begin to press on together, talking, living, and enjoying the company. You see clarity above… THE FOG HAS LIFTED? NO!!!! You have lifted… above the fog. As you look down, you no longer see the hole bottom. You can hear a murmur of the crowd below but no actual words stick out as if it is the gathering of a stadium’s noise. A background noise… the reward for your difficult CHOICE. As you press on, you realize that you were tested, sure. You were required to forge ahead but were you actually required? NO! You were not… You CHOSE to feel that way and required yourself to press on because you were motivated enough to choose to succeed in your passion. This is how we all accomplish that which seems impossible and it all starts with that thing, CHOICE. Are you ready to choose?  


If you have made it this far, I want you take a deep look on the people who surround you. Your friends, family, and acquaintances, your coworkers, and your girlfriends… Are they reaching out to you from above, or grasping you from eye level? Are your dreams elsewhere and do you feel discontent? You are at the bottom of a hole and your dreams are somewhere above you, through the fog of your own disbelief. It’s a lonely trek towards them for a point, but as you undress the fears and familiarity of what is comfortable feeling now, you will find comfort further ahead by those who understand what you have gone through since they have as well. THERE ARE HIGHER BEINGS in this world. There are those who see the light because they have fought out of their fog. This is bliss and this is true happiness. Are you ready to make the choice you have been afraid to make for your entire life? Are you ready to find yourself? IF SO, WE WILL BE WAITING FOR YOU WITH AN OUTSTRETCHED ARMS SOMEWHERE ABOVE.10341411_1515067035381924_3748430197184438148_n


Your choices make someone elses

Today was a bit of a downer sort of day. There’s no specific reason and honestly there are more reasons for me to feel joyful than the latter. I come home in just over 3 weeks, I have a new adventure ahead of me, and an amazing family and friends looking forward to catch up with me. Yet, I was down today. However a couple hours ago made a difference.

I watched this video that someone shared on FB today and couldn’t help but continue to watch it over and over. Veiling my sombre face to hide my tears from co-workers eyes, I couldn’t help but feel bittersweet from this Thai commercial.

We live our days among a million others. To be alive this very day is something incredible. How many choices have brought you to this very moment? How many gifts have you received along the way? We may seclude ourselves into a small bubble of familiarity for comfort and safety yet, there are millions of others that share the gift of another day with you. Embrace this fact.

I was walking home from work today as I always do and was asked twice by drivers passing by if I would like a ride. I smiled to them and said “No thank you but thank you very much for offering”. I like my walk home. It’s therapeutic and it is a time for me to be within my thoughts after being surrounded by others all day. But it got me to thinking… I have been asked many times by the same people day in and out if I would like a ride instead of walking. This is the virtue within this video’s message and it warmed my heart when I thought deeper into its message.

Your choices are many and their effects are cascading. For you may not see the effect of your choice, an effect is still occurring. Our choices create connections to others and things. These choices have both positive and negative effects throughout. Think about the choices you make on a daily basis and ask yourself if you are making positive ones. There’s no telling what your choices can do for another. It could be an entire life hanging in the balance. Spread affection towards others and reach out a hand to them. Your hand extends into the life of another and their hand will extend even further.

We make our lives 1 choice at a time and although there may be no way for you to see the difference, sometimes you very well may and the emotions you will receive from that are priceless. Show love.

Thank you for reading. I hope you liked it.


Ready … Set … IMAGINE



     Today was a big day… Google Glass was available for purchase but for 24 HOURS ONLY.  Being the tech gadget lover that I am, I stewed long and on the idea of owning the new tech.  With immense research on the product, I decided I just couldn’t live without them.  Today I couldn’t help but give myself the ability to concentrate on the possibilities that Google Glass brought to the table so I decided to skip lunch and go on the “Long” run today… So to the (guard) shack and back I went.  

     With the imaginative juices flowing like the Yellowstone Old Faithful Geyser, the Inception Movie soundtrack blasting through my auditory canals, I went to work without distraction.  I must’ve conjured 100 ideas within the 51:57 5-mile timeframe while my brain was traveling at Warp 9.  I came up with games, functional uses, business need utilizations, marketing schemes, social networking additions, military integration uses, entrepreneurial advantages, human productivity increase’rs, traveler functionalities, and a plethora of other uses.  Google Glass brings forward a whole new market to the consumer and WORLD at that.  

     Imagine the idea of staring up at the night sky and the Google Glass connecting the dots of constellations or tracking the very run I was currently undertaking, showing me visually if I was on pace with my last run.  Imagine using hand gestures to control the phone in your pocket and with the movement of a finger, charging the digital bungie that was about to launch those angry angry birdies over to some unsuspecting pigs.  Imagine looking at a math problem and the glass presenting the answer, or looking onto the magnificent NYC Big Apple skyline from the top of the Empire State Building and detailed descriptions of the buildings in the landscape expanding.  Imagine walking through an art museum and instantaneous information appearing right in your eyes on Leonardo Da Vinci’s The Mona Lisa or Salvador Dali’s Hallucinogenic Toreador.  Imagine walking up to a stranger in another country and having a conversation with them by the Google Glass presenting their native tongue in English on your glass and your words appearing in their native language on their glass without falter.

     Our minds are incredibly powerful and everyday you have imagination flowing.  Harness the power of your dreams and find your passions’ in life.  What excites you?  What do you think about while you are sitting at your cubicle or taking the heavily trafficked drive to work?  Your imagination is your co-pilot to self value and realization.  Its the swiss army knife for your entire thought process.  Take advantage of this gift and stray from squandering or burying it due to fear of others judgements.  Speak your thoughts and voice your ideas.  Everyone has an inherit want to be happy, not just content and if you find yourself with a blank mental canvas on what makes you happy, excites you, inspires you, intrigues you, and motivates you; allow that natural mental elixir of imagination to pour it’s magical spirit into your consciousness.  You will find delight in what comes of it.  Unhappiness is a choice.  The veil of discontent can shroud us from an entire world of wonder that lies before us.  Take chances and push back against naysayers by choosing who to and not to let into your world.  You will find others in the same mind frame once you choose to include them.

     We are each a lemming in a world of lemmings with unique thoughts, outlooks and inspirations, yet we all share 1 commonality; an imagination that can be elevated and listened to.  An imagination that paints the picture of who you are.  It takes no guide to simply THINK.  Breakdown the barriers you have built up to protect your creativity from judgement and you will find that the world you lived is much more vast than you thought it was yesterday.  Happy dreaming!


Motivation spawns the Reverberation for Inspiration


     Today I woke up excited for the day.  This has been happening a little more lately due to deciding to push towards attaining my passions.  4am and that old time Metal Gear Solid ringtone chimed letting me know it was time to work a job I didn’t care much for while also reminding me that the day was anew and there was more programming to learn.  My job is what woke me yet my motivation is what drove me up on 2 legs.  

     Coming into work I was motivated to do what I wanted to do, study Objective-C coding.  My morning ritual at work doesn’t hit that passion very well as I have other duties to attend to and others relying on those tasks being completed so they can complete their duties.  Motivation however took hold… and found a way.  As my brain started putting the day’s tasks in order, it also was working dutifully to find a more efficient way to reach completion.  2 steps ahead of every turn, I developed a better means to get from point A to point B and pushed hard as I knew the reward was my time to work on things I cared for dearly.  Shockingly I found an extra hour just for ME.  The trick was though, I was stuck in a vehicle and not in the office. Hmmm…  “Okay ramped up mind, what’s shall we do about that”.

     I turned the car into a mobile studio/classroom.  With an iPad in my lap and a Macbook on the center console, the Inception Movie soundtrack whimsically sailing me into the horizon, I found my CHI.  With no one around and my resources in front of me, I pressed on with my coding lessons.  Today I made a mental breakthrough with something called Pointers in C code.  This had been a task plaguing me for days and somehow in that little Hong Kong built van, the neural bridge that was needed to make cognitive connections from 1 point to another was completed and my synapses were firing at a warp 11 rate, a steady stream of electrical pulses that put 1 and 1 together and made 2.  “I have it!”, I said out loud but unable to hear due to the loud classical tune rattling my eardrums and rendering them fully occupied.  The day was starting off on a good foot and it followed in suit all the way through.

     Our motivations can be a strong force.  They can push us past fake limits that we thought were real.  Motivation has a unique way of finding a way.  The reverberation of this phenomenon may elevate other areas of need in order to find the time and peace to tackle tasks we were brewing up to begin with.  Do not let tasks get in the way of what you really want.  Let the motivation to undertake an activity help route the pathway to that starting line.  “I want to do this so I must use this motivation to will other elements into their needed order to obtain that which I wanted to begin with.”  Excuses of time, work, responsibilities find their way into these equations frequently but a different aspect is to use your motivations like a dry oak kindling wood that can stoke a smoldering fire into a raging furnace.  Listen to yourself and find the channels of priority to help you achieve your goals.  Do not only search for your path but blaze your path out.  Many times you will find a much more efficient root to where you want to be.


Runners High


     This photo is a couple years dated but my motivation is not.  Today, I decided to skip lunch and hit the asphalt for a little cardio.  Andrea Bocelli blasting operatic harmony in the headphones, I began my trek.  Quickly deciding to attempt to reach a landmark about 2.5 miles away I started the stopwatch on my $7 Casio watch.  Down the road I found that zen where your worries and stresses melt away like a Salvador Dali clock.  Images of friends, new acquaintances, upcoming adventures into my current passions exposed a side of me I haven’t hit before as I naturally picked up my pace. Pose running in an old pair of Merrill minimalist shoes, each strike of the ball of my foot seemed lighter.  I kept my head down in my natural contemplation posture, thinking slow and relishing an image and then speeding up to a different subject my subconscious wanted to pull up from the depths; I hit my target landmark.  I realized my breathing was deep yet controlled and the ache in my legs was more motivational then a detriment to my will, I made a decision to press on.  I decided to put off my past idea of a relaxing walk back to the start point of this trek and attempt to make it back at a running pace.

     Out of water, I soon realized that this 2.5 mile half leg wasn’t going to be as smooth as the first… I dug back into the depths of my psyche.  I thought about arriving back home and seeing my family and catching back up with my amazing friends.  I thought about the adventure I have decided to push towards in September; taking my passion to create mobile apps seriously enough to invest time and income into accomplishing what I have stumbled over for a decade.  I thought about a new acquaintance and what could be in store in the future unknown. Push by push, I found that I was speeding up yet again and attacking the undulating terrain harder on the uphills.  “I’m totally going to pull this off”, I thought to myself retreating above subconscious depths for a moment to relish in this personal record distance. 

     I reached my start point in an all out sprint and smiled while sucking air through the spaces in my teeth.  I had done it.  I had run constantly and with a pace I could be proud of for nearly 5.5 miles in a time of 52:45.  I had found a runner’s high.  

     Life is a whirlwind of emotions and activities but I have learned the importance of putting life’s vast library of subjects on hold to get away and contemplate without agenda.  To allow your subconscious an outlet while you are awake to delve into your mental files and openly sift into random event logs.  Your life and body still press on while your mental state can be exercised in a therapeutic fashion.

     We all can break mental boundaries without realizing we are setting ourselves up to achieve milestones.  Without stress and worries building the wall higher and higher, we can find enthusiasm in just how attainable our hidden goals really are when we simply decide to allow events to occur.

     Relish in the fact that you can achieve greatness by merely allowing your body to do what it wants to without the mental wall casting a shadow over your will.  We do not always need to endure.  We can also elevate.


A mere Flutter from a Butter can Sting like a Bee

A mere flutter from the congruent wings of a butterfly can topple kingdoms and dynasties alike.  It’s amazing what can be harbored within a person by the actions of another.  I have made a great reconnection recently with a childhood friend and as we reminisced on past delights, a troubling memory came up.  A memory I had no recollection of as it was not something I deemed important enough to catalog.  This memory however lingered in the other party and has festered a film of disheartenment.  As the memory was brought up, it dawned on me that I had personally hurt a friend due to what I had said so many years ago.  To me, this flutter was nothing to take in but the repercussions of my words had plastered a negative blotch on another’s past.  It brings a lesson to the forefront for me.

We do not always know the effects of our actions on another person so we must tread lightly and think cautiously.

For the mere flutter of a butter can sting like a bee

     I hope my apologetic words now can help manage the pain I gave to you so long ago.


Act on your instincts



I have decided that what I have been working towards for 5 years is not making me happy enough so I have dug deep and thought very hard about what makes me happy and the answer is right in front of me.  CODING!  When I am free of work, I enjoy to learn coding and I have such passionate ideas that revolve around building apps that I think many people would like to use in their everyday lives.  SOOOO…. with that said, I have decided to take action on this.  I have applied to an App Development Bootcamp called Mobile Makers Academy and am hoping to begin in late September for 8 weeks of knuckles to the pavement hard work.  I could not be more excited about this decision to pursue a life of happiness.


I have an interview in a couple days with the actual CEO of the company. I’m nervous just writing about it.  I hope I show my energy for this path to him because I still have to be invited into the school.  Fingers crossed!  More to come…